Dating is picking up popularity in India, as a means to find a partner. But the quest to find ‘the one’ entails meeting all kinds of other specimens along the way. Based on some of my (mis)adventures, here’s a list of things that I wish guys WOULD NOT do on dates.
1. Staring at my bust
There is just no excuse for this. Without entirely condoning it, I’m willing to see that a random guy on a bus or across the street may do this. He has the right to look where he wants. And I have the right to mentally strike him off my list of people I would ever go out with. But when I’m on a date with you, I don’t have that option anymore. Not at least till the end of the date, I’m at least that nice. Be nice to me and don’t treat me like a sex object the very minute we start the date.
2. Ogling other women
This follows from the first since some men use the excuse that ‘I can’t look at you so I’ll look at others’.
We’re out on a date. That means you and I are getting together to spend some time with each other. Focus on he last three words. One date does not tie you to me but it does warrant the courtesy of your undivided attention at least.
3. Boasting
Showing off probably comes naturally to the male species especially when in the presence of the opposite sex.
Animals do it, insects do it and human men do it too. Only don’t go on and on about it. The showing off is a mating ritual among the aforementioned life forms and ceases once the connection has been made. Assume that the connection has been made the minute the date has been accepted.
There’s really no reason to go on and on about the number of foreign trips you go on, how earth-shatteringly important you are to your company, how you were having tea last week with the Dalai Lama and how many thousand books you read in the past year. It’s off putting and most importantly it’s boring. I tuned out the minute you started throwing numbers at me.
4. Not listening at all
It’s a conversation. That means both people talk and listen. Talk some, I’ll listen. Then I’ll talk and you need to do more than stare around the room, ask the waiter for refills and interrupt to tell me about the movie I saw. Believe me, I could interest you with more than my bust. I have a sense of humour, an opinion and intelligence too. Give me a chance to let you see that too.
5. Calling me things like ‘Babe’, ‘Sweetheart’ or ‘Honeybun’
It’s a first date. I could be your girlfriend but I’m not, yet. We could be friends but we haven’t gotten to the place, right now. Undue familiarity and worse, sexist phrases are instant turn-offs. I have a name, use it. I might permit you to give me a nickname, but at least be original.
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1. Staring at my bust
There is just no excuse for this. Without entirely condoning it, I’m willing to see that a random guy on a bus or across the street may do this. He has the right to look where he wants. And I have the right to mentally strike him off my list of people I would ever go out with. But when I’m on a date with you, I don’t have that option anymore. Not at least till the end of the date, I’m at least that nice. Be nice to me and don’t treat me like a sex object the very minute we start the date.
2. Ogling other women
This follows from the first since some men use the excuse that ‘I can’t look at you so I’ll look at others’.
We’re out on a date. That means you and I are getting together to spend some time with each other. Focus on he last three words. One date does not tie you to me but it does warrant the courtesy of your undivided attention at least.
3. Boasting
Showing off probably comes naturally to the male species especially when in the presence of the opposite sex.
Animals do it, insects do it and human men do it too. Only don’t go on and on about it. The showing off is a mating ritual among the aforementioned life forms and ceases once the connection has been made. Assume that the connection has been made the minute the date has been accepted.
There’s really no reason to go on and on about the number of foreign trips you go on, how earth-shatteringly important you are to your company, how you were having tea last week with the Dalai Lama and how many thousand books you read in the past year. It’s off putting and most importantly it’s boring. I tuned out the minute you started throwing numbers at me.
4. Not listening at all
It’s a conversation. That means both people talk and listen. Talk some, I’ll listen. Then I’ll talk and you need to do more than stare around the room, ask the waiter for refills and interrupt to tell me about the movie I saw. Believe me, I could interest you with more than my bust. I have a sense of humour, an opinion and intelligence too. Give me a chance to let you see that too.
5. Calling me things like ‘Babe’, ‘Sweetheart’ or ‘Honeybun’
It’s a first date. I could be your girlfriend but I’m not, yet. We could be friends but we haven’t gotten to the place, right now. Undue familiarity and worse, sexist phrases are instant turn-offs. I have a name, use it. I might permit you to give me a nickname, but at least be original.
Read more
